I really do like writing my family letter once I'm doing it. Gives me a chance to remember my past, and that part is getting easier with my life journal on the same computer I write the letter on. Thank heavens for blogs!
So I usually end up rereading the entirety of my last six months of entries, which makes the process even longer than it should be. Especially since I just write shoddy little rhymes that take no time to come up with, it should take no time at all.
So, I decided I'd put my letter up on my blog, even though I guess you guys can read it in the Hendricks Herald. Plus, I'm going to interlace a little comic I drew about the process, based mostly on the truth.
If you're like Uncle Jim and it never hit you that Sami doesn't actually write my letters, it's based completely on the truth.
With no further ado.... Sami!
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This year I decided to be “fashionably late” and put reason behind the phrase.
“Fashionably” is my middle name, and tardiness is the newest craze.
I wasn’t going to write at all and join the WGA.
A dog as old and splendid as me shouldn’t be coerced to write without pay.
But apparently unions have ‘human rights’ that only apply to bipeds
And that last strike they had ended awhile ago, so we don’t want to cause more dread.
I thought I’d try the quitting game anyway; see how ‘Laina complained.
She said, “Aight, we won’t write one,” but Dad didn’t see the same.
Now, I may be the prettiest, smartest, and cutest member of the household
But when Dad says “WRITE”, this dog never needs to be twice-told.
She’s currently complaining about some “wisdom teeth” that make it “hard to write”,
But I get gross spray stuff on my teeth every day and I don’t (always) put up a fight.
“Fashionably” is my middle name, and tardiness is the newest craze.
I wasn’t going to write at all and join the WGA.
A dog as old and splendid as me shouldn’t be coerced to write without pay.
But apparently unions have ‘human rights’ that only apply to bipeds
And that last strike they had ended awhile ago, so we don’t want to cause more dread.
I thought I’d try the quitting game anyway; see how ‘Laina complained.
She said, “Aight, we won’t write one,” but Dad didn’t see the same.
Now, I may be the prettiest, smartest, and cutest member of the household
But when Dad says “WRITE”, this dog never needs to be twice-told.
She’s currently complaining about some “wisdom teeth” that make it “hard to write”,
But I get gross spray stuff on my teeth every day and I don’t (always) put up a fight.
This past half-year hasn’t even really been that great.
Alaina’s a junior now, so school has mostly filled her plate.
She really likes this “AP Art History” class she takes at school.
The stuff she tells us over…and over…about is pretty cool.
Her other classes are pretty fun, with Genetics, French, and other stuff.
She’s getting used to the homework load, so it isn’t always as rough.
Something interesting finally happened during school with a “Lock-Down”.
Some kid brought a fake gun to school, and WV really went to town.
The kids stayed cooped in a corner for five hours while the cops searched the school.
I hear they brought K-9 units in, which must have made it really cool.
They were all okay and nobody got hurt, but what a wasted day!
At least Alaina has another story she can now say.
She finished off her computer graphics class and is now in “Drawing One”.
Alaina thinks she’s all artsty and stuff, which I guess is pretty fun.
She really loves it and can’t wait for her artsy schedule next year.
It’s good it’s mostly art classes, because Seniors are lazy, I hear.
I wouldn’t know anything about that; nothing at all, of course.
Until Mommy starts buying ‘senior food’, I’m as young and hip as a horse.
Speaking of those giant, scary, horrible, and awfully smelly equines,
Alaina started this “volunteer” thing she’s at on Saturday morning-times.
She goes to “FTEA” where she works with horses for handicap kids.
It’s a good idea and I’m proud of my girl, but I think they’ve all flipped their lids.
Apparently nobody is sane enough to realize how big horses are.
Animals and pets are supposed to be little, not the size of a compact car!
They should take a note from my book- I fit in my mommy’s arms.
Those monsters are so ginormous, they have to live on farms.
Alaina and her friends right now are really into Superman.
This is finally something teenagery that I can understand.
He lives a double-life and is more awesome than you first think,
He has super-strength, can really fly, and gets around in just a blink.
Plus he’s pretty, charming, and humble with a heart of gold.
The Man of Steel is basically a human-Sami…or so I’ve been told.
She and her friends come home each Friday and watch Smallville on TV
Even though they all know the show is as horrible as it can be.
But afterwards, they finish off with some vintage “Lois and Clark”.
A lady in the ward let her borrow the series, which really makes me bark!
Since I’m talking about big guys who are cooler than you’d anticipate,
I should tell you about my other girl’s guy, James the Noble and Great.
He’s REALLY BIG and I’m not just saying that because I’m only eight pounds.
He also likes opera and law and Emily, so he’s awesome all around.
James is really funny, and I think he fits in quite well.
We’re all a little crazy here, if you couldn’t tell.
Emily is marrying him this summer, which makes this the second year in a row. **
Now with only bachelorettes Alaina and me, we’ve got one wedding to go!
(Hopefully, that won’t be any time in the near future.
I’ve met Alaina’s guy friends and their too scary for me, for sure.)
Now, it wouldn’t be fair to my littlest girl to not mention all of her woes.
She’s a junior, which means college stress is beginning to show.
Alaina’s looking at too many schools, and always gets scared what to do.
I think she’ll be fine, since she’s already taken not one ACT, but two!
The first one she got a 31, which is good or something, I hear.
The other one we don’t know about, but she hopes the score is near.
Don’t ask her which school she’s picking because nobody knows and everyone asks.
But once she’s out of my house, I won’t have to do anymore writing tasks!
And in case you were curious about that fish I mentioned six months ago,
Fernando’s still alive and happy, watching his bubbles blow.
I talk to him sometimes to see if he ever gets lonely;
All the fish friends we bring him keep dying, so he’s the one and only.
But Fernando gets what I’ve understood for the past thirteen years-
When you’re the smallest, smartest, and cutest, you’ve got no reason for fears.
I guess that applies to everyone…me, the bird, the teenager.
We may seem like we’ve got so many difficulties, chaffing under our fur.
But we’ve got friends and family to help us along the way.
And with some peppers, steak, and French fries, every bad morning becomes a great day.
Before I finish this letter off, Alaina’s blog deserves a plug.
She writes about her life on there, and there’s a picture of my lovely mug.
Although she doesn’t keep up religiously, she’s starting to be quite faithful.
If you know my girl, you know she loves to talk, so there’s really quite an eyeful.
That’s http://www.missalainius.blogspot.com/ if you weren’t aware.
But now you are! So go read up on my girly on the internet!
And when you visit, bring me cookies- bribing the WGA isn’t illegal yet.
Love from Sami, with help from Alaina
---
My sincerest apologies to Dad for both drawing him so horribly (with these silly comics I tend to just go with my roughest, very first sketch) and for being the horrible teenager I illustrated myself to be in real life, too.
**Mom pointed out this sounds an awful lot like I don't know my own brother's wedding date. Don't worry. I do. SAMI just forgot....mmmhmm.
"Perfect Isn't Easy" can be found in Disney's Oliver and Company
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