Arr, mateys;
remember ye not what today is? Sure as ya peg-leg, it's
Talk like a Pirate Day, ye scurvy dogs. Renders this job
nasty as I be too much of a land-lubber for blabbering just right, aye? My blabber on Ye Olde Facebook be
set to Pirate fer terday, and it'll be me help fer this blabberin or so. Ye
lazy dogs kin skip 'till the
bottom o' the barrel- I'll explain there in the prickman's tounge.
Me hearties, I's got my eyes on
scrawling on this plank just aight, fer I've got a log full o'
treasure te bestow upon ye- starrrtin' avast
Mondee. There be this
crew who call upon me fer servicin' thereabouts, an' they're piritical views be not LDS. The truth bes this, mateys- I knows not
howabouts they got the numbarr of me magic parrot. But they's got a
youngin' fer lookin' aftarr, which I bes excellent at. Arr, 'tis a
jolly good time an' I don't give a git so longs I get me
dublooms!
The
Lady Cap'n sailed off fer the beginn' o' the week, leavin' the
Capn' an' his first mate youngin', Han, to tend the ship on their own. After a bit o'
Parley, we set up our guidelines. Mondee, Tusdee, and Wensdy, I sailed out te'
Fermi Lab to be fetchin' the youngin' from them rascals at Day Care. Then, we shoved off fer
home port, where I fetched the first mate his vitters an' deep blue. They've got themselves a scurvy
dog as well, an' he bes quite the parrot.
Han's a cute little
scoundrel, an' eats like a
proper pirate.
Sauce all over his mug an' bras, yarr. Mondee an' Tusdee, we shoved off fer the land-lubbin'
park fer running, sliding, an' chasing them scurvy geese. Wensdy was
cold as Davy Jones' heart, y'arr. So we
sufficed to stay aboard the home port and sing our fav'rite
rum song like good sirens- "Once Therr Was a Snowman". The kid daren't be a
marrrman, but after a few good days, he done gone and
learned it jus' fine and be eyein' with pleasure when I sang it fer 'im.
I be's a free
lass again now, as Han's Lady Cap'n is returned to
home port by now, arr. But, I miss that
scoundrel a bit. Havin' something close to a
job was a good pace to follow. Avast, if I had still been 'a working, the rest of me
week would'a been off the plank!
Thr', I had three o' four mateys come to me ship to watch the
magic box play a showin' of "iCarly". Me
hearties Jenessa, Josh, Jenny, an' Sarah came over an' it was right jestin'. But the ending was
sharkbait, ye gather!
A few turns o' the
hourglass later, we all shoved off fer' our
other hearty with plenty o' booty's home port- he has his own
giant magic box fer' movin' portraits te'
eye with pleasure. So our
church crews met there fer the movin' picture; aptly named "
One Man's Treasure", arr. It was fine enough, but not the
booty a good lass expects with a name like tha'.
Friday we didn't have that scurvy mistress
school, so me hearty Kathy an' I fancied us some
poultry from KFC fer a right rumfest on the lawns of the
villianous' port a ways off. When we returned to my port, there be quite the sight on me
deck- scrawled in chalk, "Alaina is [ice]
cool Date Tonight?" which was
foolhearty, mateys, fer I'd already parley'd with the matey who was scrawlin' an' already
accepted. But there be
booty on me deck, so all was pleasur'bal.
That
date was pleasur'bal, too, yarr! Me
hearty Jenessa was the lass fer Christian, an' the date was
docked at his home port. I was the lass fer me hearty Josh, an' we all
doubled. We prepared our vittles te be
tinfoil dinners, with IBC rum an' all. Then, we
scoured for a movin' portrait ter eye an' settled on anchorin' with
X-men 2. Aye, a fine choice, me hearties! Afore we left fer our home ports, we
spied the work of our villanous mateys-
banners and Jolly Rogers flappin' o'er the
branches!
We plundered ourselves some
frozen cream afore docking home, an' I say- tha's be the
perfect way to seal a night o' proper piracy, arrrr.
(Now, again in English for all you land-lubbers. Or people who choose to read this on a day other than Talk Like a Pirate Day and don't want to be frustrated.)
Hey guys; remember what today is? Sure as heaven, it's Talk like a Pirate Day. Makes blogging very hard as I'm too much of a not-pirate for getting the idiosyncricies just right, eh? My language on Facebook is set to Pirate for today, and it'll be my main help for this blog writing. You lazy readers can skip to the bottom of the post- I'll explain there in proper english.
Guys, I need to write a blog because I have a lot to tell you- staring with Monday. There's a family who calls me for babysiting sometimes, and they're not LDS. Honestly, I don't know how they got my cell phone number. But they've got a kid to watch, which I'm pretty good at. It's fun and I don't care HOW they got my number as long as I get paid!
The mom went on a business trip at the beginning of the week, leaving the Dad and their kid, Han, home alone. After talking and meeting for directions, we got it set up. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I went to Fermi Lab to pick up the little boy from Day Care. Then, we went home where I got him his dinner and water. They have a dog there, too. He's loud.
Han's a cute little boy, and eats SO MESSY. Sauce all over his face and arms, even when there's no sauce to eat! Monday and Tuesday, we went to the park to run, slide, play, and chase geese. Wednesday was crazy cold. So we stayed home and sang "Once There Was a Snowman". The kid isn't mormon, but after a few good days he learned it enough to sort of sing and dance and loved to watch me sing it for him. Over and over and over...
I'm not wathcing him anymore, as Han's mom is home by now. But I miss him a bit. And a job was a good pace to get used to. something close to a job was a good pace to follow. I guess, if I had still been working, the rest of my week would have been nonexistant!
Thursday, I had four friends come over to watch "iCarly" on the TV. My friends Jenessa, Josh, Jenny, and Sarah came over and it was hilarious. But the end was lame!
A bit later, we all left for our other (rich) friend's home- he has his own inflatable movie screen in the backyard! So our combined wards met there for a movie; aptly named "One Man's Treasure". It was good enought, but not as good as it should be with such a piratey name.
Friday we didnt' have school, so my friend Kathy and I went to get KFC for a picnic on the lawn of our rival school, Neuqua. When we got home, there was quite a signt on my driveway- written in chalk "Alaina is [ice]cool Date Tonight?" which was silly, guys, because I'd already spoken with the guy who was asking and already accepted. But there was chocolate coins on the driveway, so 'sall good.
The date was awesome, too! My friend Jenessa was the date for Christian, and the date was at his house. I was Josh's date, as we doubled. We prepared tinfoil dinners with IBC rootbear. Then, we picked X-men 2 to watch. A fine choice, guys! Before we left for home, we noticed we'd been TP'd. And helped clean it up, of course.
We went and got icecream before going home, and I think that's the PERFECT way to end the night. Arr.
"The Pirates that Don't Do Anything" can be found in Veggie Tales