From my Washing Machine

I am not afraid to admit that I am weird. For many, many reasons; more than I would ever have time to explain. One reason I'm very well aware is "stranger than strange"- I love doing laundry.

Unlike the dishes, which I ADORE putting away but hate putting in dirty, laundry is the opposite. There's few things better to me than pretreating a stain and having it disappear, making me feel like I'm in a commercial for Resolve fromerly Spray and Wash, or putting our filthy filthy rug in the washer and having it come out as clean as it looked in Ikea. I just don't like putting the laundry away afterwards.

Laundry adventures at BYU are wonderful, as well. Our Heritage washers are 75 cents a load and the MASSIVE dryers only 25 cents a load. When I do two loads, one colors one whites (they only have three settings- colors, whites, and wools. I weep at night for my poor jeans, ripped from their loving home in Aurora where the washer could give them a load of their own.), I can dry them together and save myself a quarter. And the laundry room is spacious, making it great for homework or hanging up delicates.

Today's specific laundry adventure has yet to conclude, actually. It started when I stripped my comforter off my bed, peeling the sheets individually and putting them in the basket. Then I plucked my towels off their hanging places, carried the things to the washer, and went on my merry way while they washed. Nothing strange, right? WRONG.

The timer went off, so I opened the washer and much to my horror, saw some terrible, mysterious white thread wrapped around all my sheets and towels. My first thought was "why on earth is there so much floss in here?!", which I quickly dismissed. There wouldn't be floss in my sheets and towels...it must be the elastic of the fitted sheet.

Thinking the worst, I started taking the thread off, trying to find the spot where the sheet had begun to unravel, and trying to remember what I'd ever done to hurt my sheet's feelings (besides spilling Woolite on it that ONE time). And then, I found the truth. I was right the first time. The thread was, in fact, floss. It was all there, the massive spool of dental floss that I got in my stocking last Christmas or so, and the floss cartridge was wedged in the corner, trying to look innocent.

I cleaned up the floss and threw it out and transfered the sheets and towels to the drier. Problem solved. But I have to wonder...how on earth did floss get in my sheets? I can promise it wasn't one of the things I so carefully put in the laundry basket. What would posses dental floss to so terribly want to end its stay on earth by leaping into my pile of dirty sheets? My breath can't be that bad.

I'll certainly never figure it out, but I know that I've got to go get my sheets from the dryer now...and check if my toothbrush has joined the movement.

"Washing Machine" can be found by Michelle Branch